1. The skin does not just come off by itself. That shit is like attached with film or something.
2. There's gross shit inside it.
3. The neck protrusion invites the imagination to picture the poor bird getting
defeathered and beheaded, then stuffed in plastic wrap while the head lay on the ground, locked in a silent scream.
4. Even if you wear latex gloves with grippy things that shit is still slippery.
5. If you prepare it wearing ONLY latex gloves with grippy things be sure and draw your blinds.
6. I need a real knife.
7. If you don't give yourself enough time to prepare you'll likely miss your bus and subsequently your train forcing you to drive to work with expired plates, unless the bus is running late, then you will find that you hurried for no reason and end up sweaty and smelling like dill. Admittedly there are worse things to smell like.
8. You get hand cramps when you do shit like wear latex gloves and skin a chicken.
I'm sure there are more, but I can't remember them right now.
I had this conversation with Grant later on:
Grant: "I just had to lay the guitar hero smack down for the United Way. Now my hand hurts."
Me: "My hand hurts too, but because I had to skin a chicken at 6:30."
Grant: "Is that a masturbation joke?"
Me: "I wish."
Grant: "So you were actually removing the skin from a chicken?"
Me: "Yes."
-
And then I explained to him how I prepared it; which was:
1 whole chicken, skinned, gross shit removed, place in slow cooker, dry rub with cayenne pepper, dump on jerk marinade, cook for 8-10 hours. Enjoy with steamed peas and a frosty mug of low-sodium V8.
Mine was a smaller chicken so 8.5 hours ended up being too much and it was over cooked, but there you go, lesson learned. Still tasty.
I didn't take picture because it was hella gross and I was running late.
October 21, 2009
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42 comments:
I think I'm going to go skin my chicken.
But the skin is the best part.
Normally I would agree with you, but I'm on a diet.
You make Martha Stewart look like a refried has-been.
I have real knives at my house if you need them.
My "real" house.
Not down here in the stupid smelly Texas.
Owl - I'm having refried has-been tomorrow.
Ubes - I need my own knife. It's something I should have.
Oops. Got all mixed up there.
Overnight the skin to me next time.
have i told you lately that i love you? because I DO.
also send chicken.
AP - wrong blog, and I can go dig the skin out of the dumpster if you still want it.
Dizz - HUGZ!1
I got my tabs and windows all messed up.
All of these sound like the worst double entendres ever.
Boys have tabs, girls have windows.
Next time, use skinned chicken thighs - they hold up great in the slow cooker and are mad cheap. Especially good is if you toss 'em in there with a head of garlic (yes, head - not clove, head) half a lemon, a cup or so of chicken stock, and some quartered tomatoes and potatoes. If you want to get all extra fancy, add some fresh thyme and pitted kalamata olives.
Now get the hell over here and insert tab A into slot B, already.
I've never seen a double entendre so clearly single entendre.
I agree on the pre-skinned pieces. That would save a lot of time and effort. And gloves.
Clearly, but this was as much a learning experience as it was a cooking a meal experience.
According to CanadianLiving.com "A good knife can elevate dinner prep from a chore to a pleasure. It’s an investment and treasure that should - with the right care - last a lifetime."
It was an experience of early morning filth when breakfast would have sufficed, is what it was.
Apparently they operate under the belief that it's not possible to oversell the knife.
Nobody can operate under those conditions.
Spork salesmen worldwide disagree.
Curse you and your knowledge of secret worldwide knowledge.
I can't believe you have 22 comments about a chicken. And it's not even Zombeak!
first, its cooking chicken, not sex, what's the latex for? oh wait.
second, i'll give you my mailing address if you still have that skin on ice?
my bad on the request for skin, just noticed that Anthony has dibs, but if he's gone to Europe at the time, its totally mine.
Like sex, it's too keep salmonella away.
Not in Europe. In Toronto. The skin is mine.
To.Too.Two.
In Asia, they mine the skins.
Fighting for skin. foreskin.
Fight foreskins? That's... well, ok, but ... what does the intelligence say?
Fighting foreskins?
I'm pretty sure intelligence is the enemy of this conversation.
I believe the University of Kentucky are the Fightin' Foreskins.
Intelligence is your enemy.
SLASH intelligence is the enema of this conversation.
I need... well, yes, I need some clarity here. I mean, where I stand on skin and where I stand on foreskin is not necessarily the same place, is what I'm saying.
This is all Grant's fault.
Don't talk to me about grants.
It is my fault and I apologize. Let's not even get started on the roast we discussed earlier this week. Though roast seems less topical since there is no skin to remove. Maybe you should try a pork shoulder.
I think he should try tofurkey
From now on I will refer to the University of Kentucky as the Fightin' Foreskins.
Thank you.
Can't believe I missed you skinning a chicken.
And as a former chef, may I add that I have never once cooked a whole chicken without skin. Who gave you this recipe???
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